Twisted Geometry
by fiesa
Summary: Imai Subaru is twelve when he realizes that he has no future. Of course, Sakurano Shuuichi always knew that. Subaru, Shuuichi. An unlikely friendship.
1. i Letters

**Twisted Geometry**

_Summary: Imai Subaru is twelve when he realizes that he has no future. Of course, Sakurano Shuuichi always knew that. Multi-chaptered, complete in five parts- Subaru, Shuuichi. An unlikely friendship._

_Warning: Introspection, fractured plot._

_Set: Undefined, specific spoilers for ch 58 (The Thorny Garden), follows the series up until ch 80, AU from thereon. _

_Disclaimer: Standards apply. _

_A/N: For sweetlittle, who made me want to re-read the entire series (which I did) and begged me to write more for it. In fact, this is something I have wanted to write about for a very long time: Shuuichi and Subaru. I love those two._

_And: Holiday-Update 2014. Merry Christmas (or whatever you are celebrating)!_

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><p><strong>i.<strong>

Imai Subaru is seven when he realizes they will never send his family the letters he has written, and it happens like this.

The sun is bright outside, warm and full. Summer is Subaru's favorite season. The colors are brightest in summer, the many shades of green of the trees and the brilliant red, yellow and violet of the flowers. The freshly-cleaned windows reflect the sunlight and in it, dust dances on the soft, warm currents like delicate prima ballerinas in silver costumes. When he tunes out his circumstances and focusses on his immediate surroundings, he can almost believe that he is free: that there is no Academy, that he has no Alice, and that he is at home with his parents and his little sister. The sun shatters the surface of The Pond – it is called Lake Wonder, perhaps a reference to Alice in Wonderland, but the students just call it The Pond – and illuminates two gently drifting ducks. The air is full of green: a warm, humid and familiar scent. Subaru knows this place, has known it since he turned four. In a way, it is the only place he knows. He cannot explain the yearning he feels, nevertheless, gazing over the clear water: the far side is disguised by the flittering air. A few birds drop from a nearby tree, twittering to each other, and pretend not to notice him. The scenery is peaceful. It is a stark contrast to the anger and hate Subaru feels at the moment.

Just that morning, the results of the semester exams had been posted. Not surprisingly, Subaru had received the highest possible amount of points of all elementary school students. Considering the fact that there were only nine of them, it might not have been a big deal (seven new kids had joined the elementary branch during the last year, so Subaru was no longer one of two elementary branch kids. It also meant, unfortunately, that they had to share Sensei with more kids). But Subaru had been holding his position for two years straight now, and he was also competing with the middle school branch for the position of the Honor Student. Now, in that light, his achievements were praiseworthy, as well. Of course he was sharing the first place among the elementary branch students with Shuuichi, but they had come to a mutual agreement over that topic some time ago.

"Congratulations!" Kiritani, a girl from the Somatic Ability class, smiled at him. "You did it!"

Subaru nodded curtly. Shuuichi, on his other side, rolled his eyes. "Yeah, the genius makes First again. How surprising."

"I do work for my grades, you know," Subaru said. "Other than _certain _people."

His parents would be so glad to hear the news. Subaru had worked so hard for this.

"I have to go," Shuuichi declared with fervor and glanced at the clock on the wall that was overgrown with violet flowers. Takeuchi-sensei, the teacher responsible for the greenhouse, was sniffing one of the blossoms with a critical expression. "There's something I have to do. I'll see you in class."

Subaru frowned but didn't say anything. It was unusual for Shuuichi to not fight back – they were always fighting, after all – but maybe he really had something important to do. In the meantime, most elementary branch students had checked on their results and had returned to wherever they had come from. Subaru collected his bag and a few books and followed in the direction Shuuichi had disappeared in. The magnitude of the situation was staggering. Being the first in class meant he had chances to the Honor Student Award. And with it, would _finally_ be able to return home, even if it was just for a short time. He would be able to return to the village. He would be able to see the house and his room… And his parents. He would see his parents again. At the prospect, his heart picked up.

Lost in thought, Subaru was just passing by the teachers' lounge when he heard his name. It made him stop in reflex, his head turning instinctively to find the source and the face of the person who had called him.

Nobody stood in the corridor.

It didn't take much to realize someone had said his name from inside the staff room. Apparently the door was open a crack, someone having forgotten to close it completely after leaving or having been pushed open a bit by the cool wind that entered the corridor through the open window to its right. Subaru, frozen in the few seconds that realization needed to dawn completely, forced himself to concentrate. He didn't want to eavesdrop on the teachers, much less be caught while doing it. It just wasn't worth the crap Shuuichi would give him if he got caught. So when his brain caught up with reality he chose the only option he had: continue on. The mumbling voices in the teachers' lounge continued. And Subaru would have passed – would have left them behind and thought nothing of it – hadn't he heard the next words.

"He writes home every week. Do we really have to do this?"

Subaru, in the middle of a step, jerked to halt.

"It's a shame," the voice continued, distinctly female. Ceres-sensei, probably. "He doesn't even suspect a thing."

"We can't go against the Education Board's decision." This time a rumbling, male voice.

"You mean the elementary school principal's decision." Ceres-sensei sounded bitter. "It's not fair. These are kids. They need to see their parents. They need to at least be able to write to them and not to have their letters collected with the promise of sending it off and then being burnt."

"Ssshh," someone else silenced her hastily. "Don't let anyone hear you talking like that. If Hatake hears you, he'll take this straight to the Elementary School Principal, you know that."

A heavy silence fell over the room, filled with the rustling of one person standing and collecting his bag. "I have classes. See you later."

Even in the haze of shock that had descended on him, Subaru knew he had to leave. But he couldn't move, _couldn't_, just stood in the corridor like a statue frozen in time. The door of the staff room opened completely and Asou-sensei, the P.E. teacher, stepped outside. His eyes travelled along the otherwise empty corridor and caught sight of Subaru.

"Ceres-sensei," he said back over his shoulder. "Could you please come outside? I have to go." He did so and Ceres-sensei came to the door, immediately seeing Subaru. With a sigh, she raked a hand through her short locks.

"Subaru-kun. You shouldn't have heard that."

"You burned my letters to my parents." Subaru's own voice felt alien to him: flat and toneless.

Ceres-sensei looked sorry but it didn't matter, because she couldn't change reality. "Yes. I'm sorry, Subaru-kun, but the Academy doesn't allow contact to the family for some time. It's best of you forget about it."

"For some time? I've been here for more than one year. And forget? No." Subaru repeated the word with force, to emphasize his point. "No."

"I'm very sorry. I wish I could do something."

"NO." Subaru said it a last, final time. "Sensei, you promised. You promised you'd send our letters home. Did you burn all our letters, or only mine?"

Ceres-sensei's eyes were soft, and real pain shimmered in her eyes. "I am sorry." And she _looked _sorry, and Subaru knew she wasn't lying. But it wasn't _enough._ Subaru didn't want her to feel sorry, or to pity him or to understand. He wanted to go home, see the parents he hadn't seen for more than two years. And if this wasn't possible, he wanted to send them letters, wanted them to know he was alive and well and that he missed them. He wanted them to know that he hadn't forgotten about them, hadn't forgotten how they had laughed together, how his parents had smiled at each other and at him. He wanted-

"Perhaps, in some time," Ceres-sensei said. "Subaru-Kun, maybe in some time they will let you send letters. Maybe, if you…" But he didn't let her finish. Subaru tore away from her hand that had meant to be comforting and ran into the other direction.

He didn't even cry.

He just stood at the edge of the lake, his eyes dry and his hands turned into fists, and stared across the water, and in his mind the same words repeated themselves again and again. _I am sorry. We can't go against the Elementary Division Principal. Perhaps next year._ Adults were liars. They had told him he would be able to see his parents, but he couldn't. They had told him they would send out his letters, but they hadn't. They had told him lies again and again. How much of what Yukihira-sensei said was the truth, and how much was a lie, as well? How could he smile like that when he was actually betraying them, saying the things they wanted to hear but never the truth? Had _everything_ been a lie so far, even his kind words and his bright smile? Subaru felt like screaming, kicking and hitting something. He felt like crying. Sniffling once, he forced all emotion off his face. He would _not_ cry. Adults were liars and treated children like they were stupid. Subaru wasn't, and he wouldn't behave the way they expected him to.

The sound of rustling leaves on the ground alerted him to the approaching presence of someone else. Of course, there was only one person who would approach him, much less even talk to him.

"Skipping class?" Shuuichi stopped next to him, looking at him from the side. He was frowning. "What's wrong with you? You'll get in trouble."

"I don't care." Subaru blinked at the two ducks that had suddenly multiplied. One of them seemed to understand he was watching them and mad a display of arching her neck.

Shuuichi was quiet for some time. "You won't become Honor Student like that."

"What do I care?" Subaru stubbornly refused to look at any other place than the sky. "It's not like it means anything."

"What do you mean?" Shuuichi asked, getting angry. "You were the bastard who always went _Honor Student this, Honor Student that_, and now you suddenly don't care?"

"They're not sending away our letters. All these pages, all these things I wanted to tell them – they burned the letters without ever giving my parents the chance to know about me. They promised us to send them and they broke it, just like that. I guess-" he laughed bitterly and tried to choke back a sob. "Everything has been for nothing, I guess."

Angrily, he kicked at a stone in front of him. It skipped over a few other stones and came to a stop as it lost its momentum, still far from The Pond.

Shuuichi finally broke the silence, his voice taut. "Who told you that?"

"Nobody. I head Ceres-sensei talk to some other teachers."

"Maybe you misunderstood her. Maybe she just _thought_…"

"She talked to me afterwards." Subaru levelled an icy glare at his friend. "She said she was _sorry._ She's a liar. All grown-ups are liars." _And you, of all, should know the truth when you hear it._

"But Sensei," Shuuichi protested, vehemently. "Sensei keeps his promises. He doesn't lie to us."

"Of course not," Subaru mocked. "Because all adults feel like they owe us children."

Shuuichi glowered. "Sensei's not like all adults."

"Why are you defending him!" Subaru whirled around, his fists balled. "He's one of them! If the teachers follow the rules and do what the Principal says, they're not better than him! Yukihira-Sensei is no better than the others!"

"Don't say that." Shuuichi's grey eyes were burning now. "Sensei always helped us. Yuka-sempai trusts him! I am sure-"

"You know nothing, so shut up!"

They stared at each other hard over their tightened fists and tensed shoulders. Neither one of them seemed to even breathe.

"You haven't even spoken to him yet," Shuuichi finally said, accusingly. "Maybe all of it was a mistake."

"Why are you trying so hard to be blinded?" Subaru demanded. "You know as well as I do that the teachers cannot go against the education board. Yuka-sempai told us the Elementary Principal was dangerous, and those who go against him have disappeared. So what should Yuki-sensei do? He can't do _anything,_ that's what he can do. I see that, and you should be able to see it, too. You're normally capable to rational thought – what's wrong with you today?"

Shuuichi did not look at him. "No," he said, angrily. "No. That's not true. He wouldn't – Yukihira-sensei wouldn't – and it can't be that none of our letters ever reached our families. We write so many every week, there has to be at least one – maybe one slipped through, just _one_ letter…"

Realization dawned on Subaru for the second time of the day. He stared at Shuuichi, hard. "You knew already," he murmured. "You knew they weren't sending our letters, that's why you wrote so many every week. You were hoping one would accidentally get posted."

Shuuichi didn't deny it.

Subaru grabbed his shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me anything? You left me believing like a little kid, just pretended everything was alright when it wasn't, you bastard-"

Shuuichi slapped his hands away angrily. "So what would it have changed?" He demanded. "Would you have stomped into the Elementary Principal's office and demanded an answer?" Grey eyes flashed, fiery, and Subaru hated him for making him lose his calm, this guy who always knew what to say, which buttons to push. "They would lock you up somewhere with no food until they forget about you. You saw what they did with Yuka-sempai the one time she got caught by Hatake-sensei? When he took her to see the Principal? Is that what you want?"

"Of course not!" Subaru grabbed Shuuichi's collar and yanked him close. Shuuichi didn't try to stop him. "You still should have told me-"

"You wouldn't have listened, idiot! Look at yourself, whining like a baby, you never listen to me, I don't know why I even try…"

"I don't know why _I_ even bother! You're an arrogant, selfish-"

"That's enough," a voice interrupted them coolly. Both Shuuichi and Subaru froze. Serina-sempai was standing behind them, no expression on her face. "You better go back before anyone catches you here."

Her glare was unmistakable. They went, slowly first and then faster until Subaru was almost running towards the dorms, Shuuichi hard on his heels.

"Where are you going, idiot? We still have classes."

Subaru didn't answer, just kept on running. He lost Shuuichi at one point, the other kid giving up the chase, and reached their room. Dropping on his bed, he buried his face in his pillow, his eyes tightly shut, and refused to cry.

_I hate him._

It was easier, right now, hating Shuuichi than the Elementary School Principal or even Ceres-sensei and Yukihira-sensei. Shuuichi, after all, was right there. _Always. _Had always been there since he had transferred, had always been by Subaru's side. Same birth place, same age, same school. And yet – they just didn't fit. They might look like they were good friends, but they didn't go with each other. Subaru was too withdrawn and too serious. Shuuichi was too outgoing and too easy-going. They clashed in their opinions, they clashed in their beliefs, they competed for the position of First and for the Honor Student. They were rivals for Sensei's and Yuka-sempai's attention. Shuuichi, with his carefree character and his ease in learning things Subaru needed to sit down and actually _learn_, seemed to grate on his nerves like fingernails on a chalk board, even two years after they had agreed on something like a truce. Everyone liked Shuuichi, while Subaru was regarded as the cold kid, the un-cute one, the one that preferred to read books instead of playing outside, the kid that didn't smile like a kid and didn't talk like a kid. Shuuichi was a misshaped _something_ to Subaru's nice, even circle. Even if they would have tried – would both have been willing to try – they would never have been able to fit each other. Shuuichi was too soft and kind, and Subaru was too rigid and pointy. Geometry just wasn't them.

_To think I called him my friend._

So his letters never had reached his parents. And yet they had continued to send him letters, not even once reprimanding him for his lack of answer. They were filled with funny anecdotes and little stories about their everyday lives, and every time, every time, they told him how much they loved him in the last lines of the letter. And nothing Subaru had ever written – not his thanks, not his love, how much he missed them, what he had experienced in the time since he had entered the academy four years ago – had reached them. It was… It was devastating. Had he known it, he would have… He didn't know what he would have done. He refused to think about it. Stupidly, he had believed-

Subaru couldn't decide whether he hated him for not telling him, or whether he should be glad that he had tried to spare him from the pain. In the end, it did not matter.

Sakurano Shuuichi, of course, had known for the whole time.


	2. ii Family

_A/N: I apologize for the long wait. From now on, I hope, updates will happen more regularly. Either way: Happy New Year!_

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><p><strong>ii.<strong>

Imai Subaru is eight when he realizes he can never see his family again, and it happens like this.

"Come on, this way!"

Shuuichi didn't look back as he wound himself through the bushes like a shadow through the darkness. Subaru only glimpsed a flicker of his blonde hair and suppressed an angry outburst: Who had had this idea, coming to the Middle School Division's Dorms at this time of the evening? Not that it mattered that they were late: Elementary School students weren't allowed here, no matter the time of the day.

"We should have waited till tomorrow," he whispered to Shuuichi as they paused for breath. "Maybe Yuka-sempai will be back tomorrow."

"She hasn't been there for one week," Shuuichi disagreed forcefully. This was an old discussion and both were getting tired of their respective arguments. "Nobody has seen or heard of her. And the same with Yukihira-sensei. Something's _wrong._ Don't you feel it, too?"

Subaru suppressed a sight and the accurate observation that he wasn't the one with the Alice of Telepathy and, therefore, would never be able to read more from other people than the signals they – consciously or unconsciously – were sending out already. Which was pretty scarce, nowadays, because the entire Academy seemed frozen. As if holding their breath. Something had happened on the school grounds, Subaru knew that very well, but if Shuuichi hadn't been able to read more from the teachers, then how would he know?

Maybe he had sensed Subaru's thoughts, but the blonde frowned angrily. "I can't get anything from Ceres-sensei. Well, she does have a Shield Alice, even though it's only a weak one."

For the first time, Subaru realized that the setup was quite clever. For so long Shuuichi and he had been the youngest kids at the Academy, but two of the strongest, at the same time. Shuuichi possessed three Alices, after all, and his intuitive abilities sure came in handy. While not being a complete telepath, he had learned to use his intuition to his advantage, asking the right questions and sometimes even relying on guesses. His ability was as close to telepathy as it could get, but it was only that accurate, it seemed, when it came to humans. Nevertheless, a handy gift. Subaru, on the other hand, could heal with his touch, but he could also inflict pain. Putting a female teacher into position as their homeroom teacher probably had been an attempt to call up the illusion of a home – two kids and a woman who could have been their mother – and the fact that she had a shielding ability was a definitive advantage. _Great_, Subaru thought, not without contempt. So here they were, two kids that had been regarded as potentially dangerous from the very beginning of their time at the Academy, and they still were unable to find out what was wrong. Well, they would find out now, most definitely. From the moment Shuuichi had jumped off his bed and had towed Subaru out of their room and out into the dim fall evening, he had been relieved: relieved that he hadn't been imagining the strange atmosphere around them, relieved that Shuuichi had made the decision to investigate for the two of them, relieved that he had seen it as natural to include Subaru into his actions. As dangerous as it was – as scary as it felt – Subaru was sure he wouldn't have wanted to be back in the dorms again, tensely waiting for the next morning to maybe bring news the last mornings had not brought but that had hung over them like a naked sword tethering on a worn string string.

The Middle School Dorms were dark.

Slowly and carefully Subaru and Shuuichi crept closer, freezing at every breaking branch underneath their feet and every movement in the shadows around them.

"Shuuichi," Subaru whispered and tugged at his friend's uniform shirt. "Aren't the Middle School grounds shielded?"

"Of course they are," Shuuichi whispered back. "Wait." Both of them held their breath as someone – perhaps a teacher, or a housekeeper – walked by. Since nobody expected to find two elementary school students clinging to each other under some bushes on the grounds of the middle school, nobody was looking for them and they remained unseen. When they finally dared to move again, Shuuichi closed his eyes and concentrated.

"I think we're close enough." He held out his hand. "Let's go."

Some things, Subaru would never get used to. They teleported into the corridor outside Yuka-sempai's room and blinked into the suddenly blinding brightness that came on seconds after they had landed. Frozen, they expected to hear someone call out to them any second, but everything stayed silent.

"Movement sensors," Subaru finally whispered. "Active during nighttime." Of course. In their dorms, there always was a light on outside in case they needed to go to the bathroom after bedtime. It made sense that in the middle school section, the lights would only turn on when needed. "Is she there?"

"Shut up, I need to concentrate," Shuuichi griped back and concentrated. "Yes. She's alone. Not asleep."

With a barely audible knock, they crept into the room. Inside, it was dark except for the bedside table lamp that had a lovely, orange glow. In the light of the magic lamp, the shadow of birds circled along the walls. It was a pretty lamp and for a second Subaru wondered where Yuka-Sempai had gotten it from. Then he saw her, and everything else fell away. Shuuichi reacted at the same time.

"Yuka-sempai," he whispered and clambered onto the bed from the other side. "Are you alright?"

The girl was lying on top of her covers, rolled into a tight ball. Her eyes were wide open, staring straight through them, and she barely seemed to breathe. There was no indication whatsoever that she had heard them entering, or was hearing them talking to her.

Shuuichi shook her carefully, then, when she didn't react, with more force. "Yuka-sempai!" He glanced at Subaru frantically. "What is wrong with her?"

Subaru climbed onto the mattress as well and leaned forward to touch her forehead. She felt cool to his touch, almost normal. Subaru had a limited experience with sick people. Still, his Alice usually gave him an impression of something that was _off_ in sick people, something like a shadow at the edge of his perception, so he usually knew what he was looking for. Healing was like banishing the shadow, and the more the sickness had spread, the harder it was. Similarly, sometimes the shadow refused to come into focus, escaped Subaru's grasp every time he attempted to get a hold of it, and that was when he knew that the person did not want to get better. Yuka-sempai didn't feel sick to Subaru, but there was a shadow all over her, in plain sight, dark and black and threatening, and the second he felt it he scrambled backwards in terror.

"What?" Shuuichi pressed, panic in his voice. "What?"

Subaru swallowed. "She's fine." _Her body is fine_, he amended in his thoughts. "Help me." Together, they rolled her onto her back. Yuka-sempai didn't react, just continued to stare at the ceiling.

"What's wrong with her?" Shuuichi asked, frightened, and stretched out one hand to touch her.

"Something has happened." Subaru was sure of it. "Something terrible." He could see the same fear in Shuuichi's eyes, fear that turned into terror as he supposedly put his Alice to use. The terror on his face morphed into denial while Subaru watched him, and then into something terrible.

"No," he whispered. "Yuka-sempai! Tell me it's not true! No!" Shuuichi shook her, hard, but she didn't react. "No!"

"Stop it!" Subaru tried to push Shuuichi away but he was bent forwards, his hands tearing at the fabric of Yuka-sempai's blouse.

"No! It's not true! Tell me it's not true! Sensei can't be dead!"

The world stopped.

Subaru stared at Shuuichi and Yuka, disbelieving, refusing to convert the words into meaning. Sensei, dead? Impossible. Shuuichi must have gotten it wrong, somehow, somehow-

"He can't be," Yuka-sempai whispered, and her arm rose to cover her eyes. "He can't be gone. He can't."

Her whisper was so lost and desperate that there was no other way but to take it as the truth. It also was the answer to Shuuichi's intuitive sense, and both of their questions.

"No." Subaru's brain wasn't working properly. "Sensei – he can't be – It must be a mistake-"

"Don't leave me alone," Yuka whispered. "Don't leave, Sensei. What did the Elementary Division Principal do to you?"

As if they were sharing their thoughts, Subaru and Shuuichi both settled down on either side of her, rolling into the warmth that came from the stiff and unresponsive body between them, and cried.

The next day, in a rushed student gathering, Yukihira-sensei's death was announced. Some days later Yuka-sempai fled from the Academy. Subaru and Shuuichi were left to stand by the side-lines, watching, feeling useless and alone. Nobody told them anything – they were only kids, after all – but they were sure that Sensei had not killed himself, and also that the Elementary Division Principal had something to do with it, because Yuka-sempai had mentioned it. With Sensei gone, the Somatic Ability Class got a new teacher, and Subaru and Shuuichi got into fights.

It just couldn't be.

Yukihira-sensei would never have left them, and Yuka-sempai had known something, that was why she had fled. She had, after all, promised to protect them. Subaru and Shuuichi agreed that she would never have lied to them. Yukihira-sensei, too. He wouldn't have left them like that. The fourth time they got into a fight it wasn't Jinno-sensei who appeared, but Hatake-sensei. Without further delay he took them to the Elementary Principal's office in which a small, dark-haired boy sat behind a desk that was far too big for him.

"So cute," the kid said, somehow towering over Subaru and Shuuichi even though he seemed only a bit older. "What are you going to do without your Sensei's protection?"

_I'm so, so sorry._

Yuka-sempai's voice, her arm over her face.

_You have a baby sister, haven't you, Imai-kun? Hotaru, I believe. Isn't she a precious child? I'm sure you don't want anything to happen to her, responsible big brother that you are… And your siblings, Shuuichi-kun, they're all healthy and well, I suspect. What about your eldest sister? You love her a lot, don't you? After all, she was the one who brought you up. She is training to be a police officer, I believe. It would be a shame if something happened to her._

He and Shuuichi clung together for warmth and for support. The only thing that happened was that their grief merged and doubled until it threatened to break them. And then they reached out and it became even more, even more unbearable. When morning dawned, grey, foggy and cold, they still were awake.

"We can never see them again," Subaru whispered. "He would hurt them. We can't."

"Yes." Shuuichi's voice broke, but it was firm. "We have to forget about them."

_We have to pretend that the things that are precious to us are not. It is the only way they will be safe._

Subaru would never see his parents again. He would never answer their letters, would never visit them, would never hear their voices again. He would never see his baby sister. _Hotaru. _He couldn't imagine her, couldn't picture a face. He didn't know much about infants, just that they supposedly cried a lot and couldn't speak yet. But Subaru had always known he wanted to be a good brother. Now that dream had died, completely and utterly, died like Yukihira-sensei. They were both gone forever. It was an unimaginable thought.

That way, for Subaru and Shuuichi, hell began.

_This is our secret. _


	3. iii Future

**iii. **

Imai Subaru is twelve when he realizes that he has no future, and it happens like this.

"Now this is a surprise," the Elementary Division Principal said, a cruel smile on his face. "Subaru-kun. I hope they didn't call you away from something important? And Shuuichi-kun, too. You really are as inseparable as they say."

"What do you want?" Subaru wanted to ask, but Shuuichi was faster. He was glowering at the childlike man in front of them who was sitting upright in a hospital bed, no signs of illness obvious in his complexion or demeanor.

"Now, now, Shuuichi-kun, don't be hasty. A student has to treat his principal with respect, hasn't he? Especially" – the cruel smirk again – "when the latter is in possession of something the student loves very much."

Shuuichi opened his mouth to possibly let lose a tirade of hate-filled, angry words, and that was exactly what the man in front of them wanted. Subaru caught his own temper and hate at the end of their tether. He reeled them in with force, clenched his teeth so hard his jaw hurt and touched his hand to Shuuichi's, focusing his thoughts.

_Shut up. Keep calm. He's baiting us._

Shuuichi looked like he wanted to continue, his eyes glowing with the same, crazed hate that had to be pooling from Subaru's eyes, as well. But Subaru's mental reminder – and perhaps the memory of what the Elementary Principal would do to their families if they ever disobeyed again, coupled with his intuitive grasp of the future – seemed enough.

"What do you want," Subaru asked instead, banning all emotion from his voice. Principal Kuonji smiled.

"I am here for my monthly checkup. I asked for someone with exceptional healing abilities, so they seemed to have called you. I hope your duties in the hospital won't interfere with your school work. I know you're candidates for the Principality. I wouldn't want _anything_ to stand in your way, seeing as you're both _outstanding_ students."

Subaru had to drive his own finger nails into the palms of his hands in order to remain calm. Shuuichi and he had agreed that the only way to fight the Elementary Principal was to fight him from the inside, from a place he didn't expect to encounter opposition. It also meant, unfortunately, that they had to ignore all jibes and bad-mouthing Yukihira-sensei still received sometimes. It had been years, and children forgot quickly.

_Not us,_ Subaru swore and could hear Shuuichi's voice echoing his. _His death will not have been in vain. _

Forcing himself to relax, always conscious of Shuuichi's ever-present, guarded glare in the background and the smirk playing around the Principal's lips, Subaru stepped forward.

"I will conduct the checkup then, Principal."

"Go ahead, Subaru-kun."

The first time the Principal had forced him to do the checkup, Subaru had almost glowered with happiness when he had seen how rotten and ill the man's physical condition was. While looking fine and healthy from the outside the man's insides were practically _black_. He'd resurfaced from the slight trance he fell into when scanning patients' bodies and found himself eye to eye with a man whose body was the one of a child but whose innards had been working for decades and were unable to sustain the suddenly-altered body by their own. Behind him, Sensei's student with the Death Alice was hovering behind Shuuichi. He had been the one who had brought them there. His features were hidden behind a mask, but the way Shuuichi kept his distance, a scowl of a mixture of hate and fear stamped onto his face, told Subaru enough. Still. The man in front of him was dying, and he deserved it, deserved a long and painful death, slowly failing organs and limbs until he couldn't move, couldn't breathe anymore, until his heart slowly stuttered to halt and he- It didn't take telepathic abilities to read Subaru's thoughts that moment, and the Principal had smiled.

"Rei."

And the masked devil moved forward and lifted his hand. Shuuichi twitched away from his touch as fast as possible, making a step backward. Rei followed, and Shuuichi backed away again until his back hit the wall, his face twisted in terror. Suddenly, Subaru's throat was painfully dry. The Elementary School Principal smiled again.

"It can be your friend this time, Subaru-kun, if you don't obey. Next time it will be your family, your parents or your beloved sister. I will not hesitate to hurt them in order to get what I want, Subaru-kun. So don't get stupid ideas like that teacher of yours. Your end will be the same."

Subaru hung his head in defeat. Rei stepped back. Shuuichi was still pressed against the wall, his eyes full of hate and fear. The Principal chuckled.

"Now, let's get to work. I would hate to keep you from your duties towards your peers."

And Subaru closed his eyes and lifted his hand to touch the hateful person in front of him. Soothing his pains, coaxing energy into his failing organs. Using his Alice to meld broken tissue.

The message had been received.

And now Kuonji was mocking Subaru, mocking _them_, by forcing him to make the monthly checkup now and then. Subaru was watching the deteriorating state of the Elementary Division Principal, but he also was forced to heal him, again and again. Refusal was not an option. And their greatest enemy seemed to enjoy the hate he read on their faces, their unwillingness to help him and their helplessness in the face of their own inability. Persona didn't even need to be present anymore. It was that easy to break a person, Subaru supposed, and his hate grew every time he thought he couldn't hate the man any more.

"Thank you, Subaru-kun," the Principal said as he finished and slowly opened his eyes again. Nothing had changed: not the room, not the Principal, not the fact that Shuuichi was a steadfast, angry presence behind him with the face of a person that didn't care at all. Four years had made them harder. Four years had taught them to hide – but at what cost? The Principal slipped his arms back into his button-down shirt – ridiculous, really, this kid in the apparel and with the speech and demeanor of an adult. It would have been laughable if not for the cold eyes that fixed on Subaru with a cruel gaze. "I hear you're as good as members for the Principality already, Subaru-kun, Shuuichi-kun. Will you be competing for the position of Student Council President?"

Subaru hadn't even thought that far. But, he supposed, when it came to it Shuuichi probably was the better choice. Everyone liked him. He could easily talk and interact with other people, coaxing them into action, inciting determination and joy and making friends, while Subaru preferred to remain in the background. Shuuichi stood good chances at being elected Student Body President. But discussing this with the Principal, having him so obviously mock their desperate attempts to build something against him, was disheartening. Subaru wouldn't have thought his hate could still grow, but here he was. Each time, each moment that passed, and his hate for the man who held their lives in his child hands grew.

"It would be a great honor to be nominated," Shuuichi replied smoothly.

"It sure would." Principal Kuonji chuckled and buttoned the last buttons of his shirt. At his signal, a nurse handed him his blazer. Swinging both legs from the hospital bed, he turned his back on them. "I don't want you to keep you from your school duties," he said sweetly. "Thank you for your help, Subaru-kun. I wouldn't know what to do without you. I'll see you next time."

Hadn't Shuuichi grabbed his wrist and towed him outside, where they promptly vanished with the help of his Teleportation Alice, Subaru wouldn't have been able to say what might have happened. A sudden sense of utter dread had come over him, a black veil coming down before his eyes: he would never be allowed to leave the Academy.

Back in their room he stumbled and almost fell onto his bed, not caring for the fact that he was still wearing shoes and that his uniform would crumble. His hands were shaking. His entire body was shaking so badly he felt like falling apart.

Shuuichi leaned over him, concern in his eyes. "Are you alright? Calm down, it's over."

"No," Subaru said and pressed his fists into his eyes. He should have been angry, he supposed, but the only thing he could feel was numbness. He couldn't stop trembling. Maybe the healing had drained him, or maybe his hate. "No, it's not over. Don't you see? He won't let me leave. I will never leave this school. He'll keep me here, have me check up on him whenever he wants me to, flaunt in my face that he'll never just _die_, he'll always be there some way or another. I will never leave the Academy."

He lowered his fists, unclenched them slowly and stared his hands blindly. Noticed the four crescent imprints his fingernails had left. These hands that could heal. This part of himself which he suddenly hated with an intensity that made his entire body grow ice cold. The moment he said the words he knew they were true.

"I don't have a future, and you don't have one, either."

Shuuichi sat down on his bed, facing him, but Subaru avoided his eyes. Silence hung over their shared room. It still was the same room they had occupied as children, only now showing signs of slowly outgrowing its initial, contained walls. Subaru's desk was meticulously clean, while Shuuichi's tended to show a more… lenient… order. There were books in the shelves that hadn't been there when they were small, books for lessons, history books, medical tomes. One photograph hung on the wall, framed in a simple silver frame: Sensei, Yuka-sempai, Narumi and them. The room was familiar, painfully so. When they had graduated from Elementary Division and moved to Middle School Division there had been the talk of them getting separate rooms. One glance at each other and they had refused the offer, much to the surprise of the house keeper. There was no clear reason why they wanted to stay together, but there also was no need to separate. As it was, it was something that Subaru didn't need to think of too closely.

Shuuichi only looked at him over the expanse between their beds, looked and was silent. Subaru sighed.

"But you already knew that."

"Keep your enemies close," Shuuichi said, laconically, pushed off his shoes and pulled his legs up onto the bed. "He would be stupid if he let us go out there, where the first thing we would do is to start looking for Yuka-sempai."

Subaru mirrored Shuuichi's position, leaning back against the wall and drawing his knees up to rest his chin on top of them. Slowly, slowly, the tremors subsided, but the cold remained. He wrapped his arms around himself and held on.

"I'd probably be useless, either way. I can't fight with my Alice."

"Nonsense," Shuuichi shot back so quickly Subaru had the feeling he hadn't even listened to his words but read his thoughts directly. "You can inflict _pain. _And we could do plenty of good outside. But we can also do something useful in here. Aren't we already? As Principals, we will have access to so much more information than we have now. Even outside information. We could move more freely, act on a bigger scale. And there are a lot of things Student Council members can do without arousing suspicion. We just have to make it there, and then find more allies. I'm sure Narumi-sempai…"

He hesitated.

"Well, at least I think he would help us, too."

"Wasn't Sensei the brother of the High School Principal?" Subaru asked. "I think he mentioned it once. So the High School Principal should be on our side, shouldn't he? The Elementary Principal killed his brother, after all."

"Probably," Shuuichi said without much conviction. "Who knows. We only see him from far during Assemblies, so I never managed to read him. He has a strange aura, though. Like he is… old."

For a while, they just were silent, both lost in thought.

"Well," Shuuichi finally said, "We won't get anywhere by just thinking about it. What about our homework, have you already started?"

Subaru shook his head. "No, when would I? Besides, you _know_ I haven't."

There had been a time when Shuuichi's somewhat-pretenses had angered him. He was able to read him, so why did he keep asking things he already knew the answer to? It had taken him some time to realize that it was Shuuichi's way of trying to be normal. Of pretending he didn't have three Alices, and that he wasn't special in any way. It had made Subaru angry: none of them was normal, didn't he see it? Pretending to be someone else than they really were: it was weakness, and Subaru hated to be weak. But Shuuichi's ways somehow had grown on him – or perhaps Subaru had grown on Shuuichi? Spending every day of every week of every month with him, he had come to know his friend as well as he knew himself. They had cried together and fought together and somehow Subaru's hate had vanished, had been replaced by something deeper and more important to him than he ever would have been able to imagine.

(Besides: imagination wasn't his forte anyway.)

"I just thought," Shuuichi said, and a subtle change in his tone alerted Subaru to a shift in his mood, "that the genius of the Middle School might have done his homework while fulfilling other tasks, seeing as there hasn't been anyone who studied that much in the history of Alice Academy."

"Why didn't _you_ do them while I was busy otherwise?" Subaru shot back, unfazed. "Instead of staring holes into the Principal, I mean. After all, there hasn't been anyone who has gotten that kind of good grades without studying for them in the history of Alice Academy."

"Are you saying you don't want me to accompany you when he calls you the next time?"

"No. I'm saying that you should be careful, otherwise I'll steal away your place as next Student Council President."

Shuuichi stared at Subaru for six seconds straight, his mouth slightly open. Subaru glanced back, unfazed, and then Shuuichi started laughing.

"You," he wheezed through pearls of laughter, "As the Student Council President – ahahaha – Subaru – too hilarious – sorry. Ahahaha!"

"I probably should be insulted," Subaru muttered as he got up and started sorting books and notes from his school bag into neat piles on his desk.

"Just imagine!" Shuuichi jumped off his bed and struck a pose. "If you're stupid, don't try to do the accounting!" He barked in a shockingly accurate imitation of Subaru's voice. "And didn't I tell you we needed those numbers until today? I'm working with a bunch of idiots, for Heaven's Sake!"

Subaru's lips twitched. "That's not how I sound."

"Oh, it _so_ is." Shuuichi dissolved into laughter again, and Subaru couldn't help himself. He chuckled.

"Well. That's probably true."

"I am always right," Shuuichi reminded him, rather pompously.

"Yeah, yeah." Subaru put down his bag and threw a meaningful glance at Subaru. "And we know you're the one who's good with people, so you'll probably be elected Student Council President. I only am the one who forces you to get the stuff done that is beneath your-" Air quotes – "superior intellect."

There was no malice in his voice. Subaru knew that, and Shuuichi knew, too. He dropped onto his desk chair, plopping down all the contents of his bag onto one messy pile.

"Let's get this done, and then go outside. To the Pond."

"Hnn." Subaru pretended to be engrossed in Serina-sensei's English homework.

Sometimes it amazed him. The fact that they still were together, that they really were friends. Even more: that they had become friends who could rely on each other and who worked together close to perfectly. It was amazing. Shuuichi had been everything Subaru had disliked. Maybe it had been their circumstances, maybe they would never have become friends if they had been in different positions, had grown up in a different place. Sensei had, while alive, drawn them together, had allowed them to form a tentative friendship that had been born from the will to spend time with him and Yuka-sempai. Next, his death and the Elementary School Principal had forced them to forget their initial rivalry and envy, to band together and to have each other's backs. And the last doubts, finally, had been cast aside by the Elementary School Principal: if he hadn't punished them, threatened them to hurt their families and laughed them in the face, they would never have gathered the strength and courage in each other to secretly stand up to him. Strange, the way evil people created their own enemies. Maybe they would never have looked at each other twice had they met under different circumstances. But Subaru liked to think that he and Shuuichi would have become friends, eventually, no matter the circumstances. In fact, it had been some time since Subaru last had envied Shuuichi for the apparent ease with which he managed to learn and link everything. On the other hand, Shuuichi had stopped taunting Subaru for his organization and learning habits. It was so much easier to work together: using Subaru's general view and Shuuichi's detailed plans gave them an advantage that maybe, _maybe_, one day would help them make Sensei's dreams come true.

_Sensei, just wait. _

Subaru had thought he would never be able to cooperate with Shuuichi. But it seemed to work, on a level deeper and more intimate than he ever would have expected. Shuuichi still was too nice and too polite and too bent-on-keeping-pretenses; and Subaru still was too gruff and too impolite and too quick in lashing out with his thorny words. But it seemed Shuuichi had softened Subaru's edges a bit, and maybe Subaru's edges had sharpened Shuuichi's too-good-to-be-true roundness. It was a twisted geometry, him and Shuuichi. But they were better together than apart. And despite the bleak outlook Subaru knew one thing with absolute clarity: Wherever his future would take him – Shuuichi would be there, too.

"I want to be a teacher," Shuuichi said, out of the blue. "Do you think it could work? Because Sensei and Yuka-sempai wanted to protect us kids, and the least we can do for them is to protect their legacy, can't we? So I thought becoming a teacher would be a good way. Even if we can never leave."

Startled out of his reverie – and wasn't he supposed to be doing homework? – Subaru needed a few seconds to process the words, and then to think them over. A teacher, like Yukihira-sensei. Someone who protected his students and was willing to die for them. Someone who would be there for the kids, who would talk to them when they first entered the Academy, made sure they weren't too lonely. It seemed… It seemed like a good idea. And Shuuichi would be there, too.

_Let us, with our own power, change this place to a place where one can speak of the truth._

"Yes," Subaru said. "Yes, that would definitely work for me."


	4. iv Chance

_A/N: This story will be completed with the next chapter. Thank you for reading!_

* * *

><p><strong>iv.<strong>

Imai Subaru is eighteen when he realizes they just might have a chance, and it happens like this.

"We'll be late." Shizune sounded even more annoyed than usual. It was hard to say with her never-changing expression, though. "The Student Council members shouldn't be late for the ceremony."

"It's not like they can start without us," Goshima said with a slight chuckle. "Besides, we're not really late."

"Not _yet_." Shizune glowered, for the lack of better things to blame, at Subaru. Glaring at Shuuichi had proven useless. After more than a decade of trying himself, Subaru could attest to that. "But if we keep moving at this pace, we sure will be."

It wasn't, Subaru thought, that they were moving especially slow. The ceremony wasn't in acute danger of being started off late, either. It was a pretty day, warm for spring but not warm enough to change to the summer uniforms. It Shuuichi – and that was _if_ – really was moving slower than usual, it could well be that he was enjoying the spring breeze that swept through the tree tops, or that he was thinking of something else while walking. Of course, the fact that he was walking slower because his intuition told him to linger a bit more was entirely plausible, as well. Subaru had known Shuuichi for more than twelve years now. Even without possessing an Intuition Alice himself, Subaru knew his friend long enough to see that something was up. He just didn't know what, but Shuuichi probably didn't know, either. That was just the thing with intuition: one could always say _that_ something would be coming, but not _what_ it was.

In some distance, an elementary student crossed their path, running while looking over her shoulder. She tripped over her own feet and fell, scraping her knees in the process. Sitting on the ground, lost and dissolving into tears, she reminded Subaru of a kid lost somewhere without her parents. Of course, that was exactly what all of them were, some younger, some older. And their parents weren't the only thing they had lost.

_Hotaru. _

She would be there today, wouldn't she? It had been almost half a year since she had entered the Academy. Subaru had kept tabs on her since he had first read her name on the list of the newly enrolled students. He knew she had the reputation of being excessively cold and detached, almost arrogant and even greedy. It was an uncomfortable feeling: seeing himself in a girl he had never met before. (_She was not supposed to be so much like him. Nothing good would come from it._) The little snippets of information Shizune provided him with – not without letting him pay for it dearly, of course – hinted at the fact that she had no friends in Class B of the Elementary School except for a Single Star girl whom she seemed to treat like a slave. She seemed to make good use of her Alice, too. Subaru had wondered, once: how could siblings show such differences in their Alice classes? Either way. As much as he wanted to see her, he knew it was of no use. She hated him, if she even knew who he was. And Shuuichi would never be able to see his siblings again. It seemed unfair: that Subaru would have the chance to at least watch his sister, while Shuuichi would never even have that much. So Subaru had not even tried to see his sister once since she had enrolled in the Academy.

"Did you hear the Special Ability Class has prepared something this year?" Someone asked.

"Yes. Their proposal sounded like fun, I saw it. We should probably check it out."

"They won't take the winner's trophy from us." Shizune was serious when it came to things like trophies and victories. "The Technical Ability Class has won the prize for the festival activity three years in a row, and I don't intend to let that change."

Shuuichi chuckled. "You sure are fired up. You haven't won yet."

Shizune answered his gaze without batting an eye, without ever changing the expression on her face, and challenged him: "If Technical Ability Class wins, the Student Council President will have to do my chores for a week."

"Including your duties to Himemiya-san?" Shuuichi remained calm, his ever-present smile unwavering. "And what do I get if they don't win?"

"I will not distribute the photographs I acquired that show you and your room mate enjoying a peaceful, private moment."

Subaru choked on his own breath and started coughing. Shuuichi patted his back, his face eternally pleasant and polite, and Subaru was reminded of the advantage he must have with his Alice. He could probably distinguish very well between a heart-felt threat and an empty one. This one seemed empty, thank the gods. The first thing Subaru would do that evening was to sweep their dorm for recording devices.

"Good thing that I don't bet."

"How boring," Shizune muttered. Shuuichi shot a quick grin at Subaru.

They were now close enough to hear pitiful sobbing. The girl was still sitting on the pavement, her shoulders shaking. Both her knees were bruised, and one of them bled. She was clearly an elementary school kid, her collar showing a single star. Blond hair was gathered into two pig-tails. Shuuichi, predictably, stopped and Subaru sighed mentally, preparing for another interruption. Shizune remained quiet, only rolling her eyes in a very unmistakably annoyed manner. Goshima and the others traded glances. Shizune waved them onward. "We'll be there in a minute." They continued on, but she stayed, for whatever reason.

Shuuichi crouched down in front of the girl, giving a sympathetic glance at her bloody knees. "Does it hurt a lot?"

Tears still stood in her eyes but she stopped crying the moment she realized someone was watching her. Overwhelmed by the sight of three high-school students she just sat there, her mouth opening and closing in a way that made her look rather stupid… And, at the same time, adorable. And no, Subaru was not turning into a pervert like Narumi-sempai. When she found her voice, words followed each other so quickly they tumbled together and rushed out.

"Naru-sensei told us not to be late, but I overslept, and now I'm late, and I don't know how to find the junior high-school section, and nobody has time to show me the way! And I haven't had breakfast yet, and now my bread is all dirty!"

It was impossible to tell which one of the woes that had befallen her were worse. Subaru had the distinct notion that the loss of her breakfast was almost as important as her situation regarding the place she was supposed to be in right now but clearly wasn't.

"Shall we go to the Junior high-school section together?" Shuuichi asked. "We can show you the way. Don't worry, you're not late. And there will be lunch after the ceremony, it doesn't take long. And this guy here can do something about your knee."

"Really?" The girl looked up at him, her brown eyes wide, and then at Subaru.

Something in her gaze pricked at Subaru almost uncomfortably. Unable to place the feeling and therefore ignoring it he knelt down in front of her, focusing on her knee. It was a scratch, nothing else. Still, it bled profusely. The second he healed it, the sharp sting of pain burned its way through him. Subaru was used to small injuries – scratches, cuts and the likes – so the pain quickly faded into a memory. But he knew that the girl had felt it, and as usual felt a tiny flutter in his heart.

"Woah!" The kid had watched the injury disappear with her eyes growing further and further. "This is cool! How did you do that? Is that your Alice? It is amazing!"

Subaru, not quite used to such over-the-top reactions, stood and dusted off his uniform. "Healing Alice," he said curtly.

The girl inspected her knees again. "It's completely gone!" She scrambled up and beamed up at him. "Thank you very much! I'm Sakura Mikan from Elementary Division Class B!" Her smile lit up like the sun after rain. Like a light in the darkness. Like an almost forgotten memory, lifted from the depths of his heart to the light of the day – And within a heartbeat, everything became clear.

_Shuuichi, you did it_.

"Are you, by any chance, Natsume's partner?" Subaru's friend asked, his voice oddly distorted. Shizune frowned, and shot Subaru a questioning look, but he could only stare. At the question, the girl's face turned into a question mark.

"Eh? How do you know about me?"

And that was the question, but the answer was obvious. No further proof was needed for Subaru. Because her smile was a dead give-away, even to him, who sometimes had trouble distinguishing between people. She had Yuka-sempai's dark-blonde hair and warm, brown eyes, and her smile was just like Yukihira-sensei's. There was no way it could be any other way.

Instead of answering, Shuuichi smiled, patted her head and offered the girl his hand. "Let's go. We don't want to be late."

Apparently easily distracted, the girl followed them, skipping along at Shuuichi's side and chatting carefree about Naru-sensei and the Special Ability Classes' performance itinerary. The instant she saw a familiar face she bounced away, but not before thanking them and Subaru in particular a second time.

"She should probably join the Specials, not ghost around between the other groups, shouldn't she?" Shuuichi said.

"She'll find out soon enough," Shizune declared. "And the Principals are already taking their seats. _Now_ we have to hurry." Her voice didn't leave any room for discussions, and the following ceremonies and the rest of the day left no room for private conversations.

It was late at night when Subaru finally heard familiar steps in front of his door. A knock announced Shuuichi's presence. At his reply, his friend stepped through the door and closed it again behind him. Subaru was at the desk, so Shuuichi chose the bed and sat down.

"You did that on purpose." Subaru didn't mean to sound accusing, and Shuuichi knew.

He smiled. "I admit, I did walk a bit slower. Still, I didn't know how it would turn out. What do you think?"

"Sakura Mikan," Subaru said and put down his pen but didn't turn his chair to see the other high-school student. "She's Natsume's partner. And she clearly has the Nullification Alice, you tested it, didn't you? It's just…"

"Just like her." They looked at each other wordlessly.

"This could be a coincidence," Subaru tried to reason. "It's a rare Alice, but it's not known to be inherited by blood only. "

"True," Shuuichi admitted. "She could be anyone. But you saw the records." He indicated at the papers on Subaru's desk. "She has no listed relatives except for her grandfather, and I'm pretty sure they are not blood-related. There are no records of other Alices in his family. She lived in a town not far from Yuka-sempai's home town. She has a Nullification Alice. And you've seen her, seen her talk and smile. It is obvious. I _know_ it's her. She's Sensei's daughter, Sensei's and Yuka-sempai's. There is no mistake in this." He spoke with a finality that dispelled Subaru's doubts like the sun dispersed morning fog. When Shuuichi was sure of something, Subaru knew it for a fact. More than ten years at the other boy's side had taught him that his intuition never failed.

(_I knew we would be friends from the moment we met. I just didn't want to accept it right there.)_

Subaru took a deep breath. "So it is true."

Sensei's daughter. Yuka-neesan's daughter. A precious, precious existence.

"It feels like she will be the key to the change we have been wishing for for such a long time," Shuuichi said quietly. "That little girl will be very, very important. To some people and to the entire Academy."

"You mean," Subaru said slowly, "You mean it is time? Change is coming?"

"A storm is coming," Shuuichi clarified. "And I can't tell how much of the Academy we know will be still intact when it has passed."

"You realize this could mean anything." Subaru frowned at him, and his friend lowered his head.

"I know."

Sometime it frustrated Shuuichi. He had the strength and ability to sense things, but he could never tell for real whether they would happen and how. He had once tried to explain it to Subaru: it was like standing in a tunnel in pitch-dark blackness, not knowing whether a train would come or not but unable to either walk forward or press against the wall, shivering in fear. Not knowing the future was normal for everyone. _Sensing_ the multitude of possibilities, knowing that there was something about to happen but unable to do anything to influence them was terrifying. Subaru couldn't even imagine it but he would do _anything_, every day, to help his friend cope.

"What matters is that _something_ is happening," he said. "We promised to change this place into a place where students and teachers both were able to say the truth. From where we are now, it can only get better."

_Get better._ How hard they had fought to get to the place they were today! How much would they need to fight?

This little girl, Sensei's daughter. Did she have her parents' heart and soul? If that was the case, she would be a formidable person one day. Maybe she would be exactly what was needed to change the rigid structures and painful ways of the place Subaru had called his home for many years now. Maybe she would be the catalyst, a spark on dry tinder, a droplet of water that would make the rivers run with the water so desperately needed in this desert. Perhaps she could be what Yuka-neesan never had been able to be. Maybe she could achieve what Subaru and Shuuichi never had managed to –

Sakura Mikan's smile flashed through his memory. Bright, sunny and trusting, so innocent it was heartbreaking. How old was she? Ten?

Subaru looked up at his friend. "But she's only a child right now," He said sharply. "She needs time. She has time, right?"

Shuuichi's face said everything. Subaru didn't know what to say.

"It's not fair," the blonde finally broke the heavy silence that had descended over the room. His face was grief-stricken. "I know it's not fair. But in order for everything to change and become better, it will be Sensei's daughter who will have to suffer."

Subaru stiffened. "Do you know that?"

Again, he received no answer.

"That's not acceptable," Subaru said, feeling the nails of his fingers bite into the palm of his hands. He hadn't even realized he had curled them into fists. "We cannot sacrifice a child in order to save all the others."

_We cannot sacrifice _her.

"I don't know _what exactly_ is going to happen, you know that," Shuuichi said. "And you have seen her. What do you think is her greatest strength? She fell down, she was alone, lost and desperate, and she stood up and wiped away her tears and made friends with complete strangers who weren't even her age. You just looked at her and you _knew_. Do you think you'll be the only one? This girl will be _loved_. But she will be _alone_, too. And we don't know what kind of trial is awaiting her, but we know she will be important for the change that we wish to see happening here."

"But she will suffer," Subaru returned. _And she is Hotaru's friend, and Hotaru will suffer. _

"Subaru." Shuuichi leaned forward, his gaze locking with Subaru's and not letting go. "It is not like we are sacrificing her for our own happiness. We don't know what will happen. Don't try to mess with the future. It will happen anyway, and you will be hurt in the process, you know that."

"You would let Sensei's daughter _die_ for our dream?"

"Of course not!" Shuuichi's eyes blazed, furious. "You know I'd never let anything happen to her. But Subaru, _we cannot do anything to change her future!_ There is only one thing we can do, and you know that as well as I do."

"Bullshit," Subaru said rudely. "We're powerless. What can we do?"

Shuuichi suddenly looked like Subaru had punched him. He got up without another word.

"Good Night."

Subaru watched the door fall closed behind him. This was, he reflected ruefully, the first time in many years that they had had something akin to a fight. It didn't sit well with him. Angrily, he grabbed a pencil from his desk and started scrawling down Jinno-sensei's homework. When he came to the third line, his pencil broke. Staring at the broken scraps of wood and pencil lead in his hand, Subaru saw something else: a smiling girl, his sister's dark eyes. Shuuichi's voice. _You know there is only one thing we can do._

Later that night, lying awake and staring at the ceiling, Subaru realized what Shuuichi had been wanting to tell him.

_This is our promise._

There actually was something they could do, something they could work on. They had been working towards that certain goal for such a long time he had almost forgotten about it. Of course. _Let us, with our own power, change this place to a place where one can speak of the truth._ Subaru and Shuuichi: both of them wanted this change. _Nobody should live this way. _Even with their gifts, children could live together happily, feel loved, find friends and build relationships. There was no need to separate them from their parents, no need to isolate them from the world and from each other. There was no need to bribe them with food and star rank and special privileges: They were children. They needed parents and friends and love. It was what Yukihira-sensei had shown them, in his actions and with his words. It was what Yuka-sempai had promised them. _I will protect this children's happiness._ In a way, it even was what Narumi-sensei and Misaki-sensei had been doing since they had graduated from the Academy: protecting the children under their care by becoming their teachers. And even if Subaru wasn't one hundred percent sure that Naru-sensei really only had first and foremost the children's welfare and wellbeing in his mind, he still sometimes managed to surprise them.

_There is a chance. We might lose everything – but we could gain everything, too. _

The thought was sharp. A sudden stab to his heart, but the pain wasn't the pain of loss only. While there was grief – for Sensei, for Yuka-sempai, for their own lives and losses – there also was something else. A vibrating expectation, the sense of something that felt… Something that felt like _hope_, dangerously so. Thirteen years at the Academy had taught Subaru that he had no future, that he had no life that was his own: his whole being was a thing that belonged to the Elementary Principal and the Education Board, to the politicians that influenced the Academy's rules, to the world that elected the politicians and made them do whatever the people wanted to ensure their re-election. Subaru, Shuuichi and all the teenagers and children in the Academy did not belong to themselves. They belonged to the people who paid money for them to join their companies and research facilities, for the enterprises that took advantages of their gifts. Alices were not free. Alices were bound by the contracts that were made to exploit them and their unique abilities, for the sake of other people and other peoples' happiness. As long as this was the case, their own happiness would never be attainable and their futures would always look the same: bleak and hopeless. And while he had accepted it – _hated_ it, yes, but had somewhat _accepted_ it – he couldn't accept that this would be the case for all the children that lived here. _Hotaru. _Sensei's daughter, even the Hyuuga brat – they did not belong into that same empty, grey future Subaru and Shuuichi lived in. They deserved something better. A brighter future, a hopeful outlook – a childhood without lies and deception, without death and fear. All these kids out there needed to be protected from people like the Elementary School Principal, the education board and the politicians that had a say in the running of the Academy. Those kids were helpless, so they needed someone to protect them.

Was this, he wondered, what Yukihira-sensei had thought? Was this what had made Yuka-sempai cry when she had seen Shuuichi and him for the first time, and had promised to always protect them? Now, it was their turn.

In the morning, at the breakfast table, Shuuichi didn't look at Subaru when he put down his tray next to his friend and sat down.

"I asked around," he said without introduction. "Narumi-sempai would be willing to take in two student teachers for Class B. He said he could use some slaves during the upcoming sports festival."

Shuuichi smiled at his breakfast like he had always known that Subaru would come around.

Maybe he had. Damn intuition of his. Subaru huffed in annoyance, ignored his friend's grin and started with his own breakfast.


	5. v Beginnings

**v. **

Sakurano Shuuichi is twenty-four when his new life begins, and it happens like this.

The sun outside the windows of the classroom was bright and warm, the first warm spring sun of the year. From the moment it had shown his face today, the kids had barely been able to sit still. Shuuichi had to reprimand them three times to try to concentrate – exam week was coming up slowly but unavoidably – and then had used an old trick of Yukihira-sensei's to gather the last vestiges of their concentration. But these last droplets seemed like they were evaporating quickly on the hot stone that was a child's patience with a teacher when more important things were calling. Especially, he thought cynically, when the teacher was feeling impatient and jittery, as well. Catching Takara-kun's attempt to levitate the soaking rag used to clean the board and to wring it out over poor Hiro-kun's head and, at the same time, telling Misao-chan that no, he would not tell them what part of today's lectures would be important for the exams and which rather not, he felt a sigh building up. He loved being a teacher, he really did. He could see why Yukihira-sensei had loved teaching so much, and also why he had been such a great teacher. Shuuichi knew he was far from being close to his role model, but he was doing his best. On some days, he had the feeling Sensei would approve.

"Sakurano-sensei!"

Even now, after six years, it sometimes felt strange to be called by the honorific he had reserved for the people he had respected most.

"Sakurano-sensei, they are looking for you!" The voice came from a middle-school student who had pushed open the door to his classroom without even pausing to knock. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked like she had been running. She was holding her side in an attempt to keep a stitch at bay. "Please, you have to come quickly, there are people looking for you and they sounded so urgent, they said to tell you to come to the hospital wing as fast as possible!"

The urgency in her voice – everything on her – made his intuition go haywire.

"We will finish for today," he told his class that had, amazingly, gone completely still, as if the kids could feel the cold shivers of anxiety that raced through him. "Don't forget to copy down your homework. I'll send a substitute teacher for the last ten minutes. Just don't draw attention to you."

Hospital wing. There was someone who was hurt.

_Call Imai, _he wanted to say and almost stretched out his senses to find said person but swallowed his words in the last second and reigned in his impulse. Six years, and still it felt natural to have Subaru by his side, even after he had disappeared from their time. Sometimes he felt like the Healing Alice still was there, right next to him, with his usual grim face that could not hide the kindness that Shuuichi knew was _there._ Dismissing the middle-school student, he walked down the corridor calmly, in the opposite direction of the hospital wing. Pausing his step in front of a restroom, he only had to wait a heartbeat before the door opened and a teaching assistant exited. He seemed vaguely familiar, but Shuuichi couldn't be bothered to recall his name just now. "There is an emergency in the hospital," he told the flabbergasted TA. "I have to go. Would you mind checking in on Class A?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned on his heel and was off, in direction of the hospital. He walked purposefully until he was out of sight, then used his Alice to teleport into the hospital wing.

The waiting room in front of the nurses' room was bursting with people. Shuuichi's eye caught Natsume first. Tall and dark-haired, he towered over the people sitting in the chairs like a silent guardian. The atmosphere surrounding him only added to that impression: he seemed like a guard dog. Extremely wary and ready to defend his master with his life. Luca, blond, broad-shouldered and loyal, stood at his side. Tsubasa and Misaki were looming in the immediate surroundings, clearly wanting to be there even though they would be of no actual use. The same probably could be said about Youichi. Noda-Sensei was slumped on another chair, worn and tired and talking to Misaki- and Narumi-sensei. His face was grey and shadowed but shone with a careful spark of hope. It seemed like every one of the old group who still was at the Academy was present. Mikan saw Shuuichi first, a smile breaking out on her face. She almost disappeared in the crowd of people around her, she was so small. She had become, if possible, even more beautiful, and carried herself with a calmness Yuka-sempai never had shown.

"Sakurano-sempai. It has been some time."

If one could call one year _some _time, then, yes, it had been _some time_ since he had last seen her. They had searched for the Imai siblings so long and so desperately, gathering the last scraps of memory they had of them together piece by piece. Somehow, Hotaru had seemed to be more present than her brother, remembered in a cool look here, alive in one of her crazy inventions there. Subaru had been a different story. Shuuichi had been the only one, but he remembered almost everything. It probably was why it had hurt so much when he had been forced to give up on the search, leaving it completely to Noda-sensei, Mikan, Natsume and Luca. Subaru, he figured, deserved someone who looked for him as devotedly as Mikan was looking for Hotaru. But Noda-sensei had only so much power, and they only had so much time. And to separate Natsume, Luca and Mikan would have been cruel. Tono had dropped out easily, merely slightly miffed that he was missing out on an adventure. Shuuichi had ceded his place only hesitantly.

Six years.

Six years since the Imai siblings had disappeared, four years since Mikan had been brought back and they had started looking for them. Two and a half years of constant searching, investigating and despairing over the fact that his best friend was gone and nobody seemed to remember, another three years of searching, distracting, _willing _something to happen. Every day they looked could be the day they found the necessary clue. He kept telling himself that much, but it was hard. The more so since days passed, turned to months and years, and no sign of Subaru and Hotaru was found. And then – as if to tell them something, as if to make them realize how difficult their quest was, how outright _impossible – _Noda-sensei's powers had weakened. One year of feeling left out and yet, against all odds, hoping.

_We will find them,_ Mikan had promised him. He could still hear her voice: so sweet, so strong. Just like her parents. _We will find them, both Subaru-sempai and Hotaru, and we will bring them back. _

Now, Mikan's smile was a mixture of elation and fear, of disbelief and cautious hope. Her expression told Shuuichi everything he needed to know.

_I promise._

There were only two beds in the room Mikan led him to, and both were occupied. Shuuichi's eyes were immediately drawn to the larger figure in the bed further inside the room. Dark hair, a stern forehead – Subaru looked like he was sleeping, his chest rising and falling slowly. Without his glasses, he seemed… younger. Less strict. He seemed older, too, older than the last time he had seen him. Whatever had happened, wherever the siblings had been: time had not stopped for them completely. Hotaru's hair was shoulder-length and her features the one of a young woman, a lot like Mikan's. Since her eyes were closed, she seemed softer. Both siblings looked calm, like they just were asleep. Nothing in their faces told the watchers what had transpired, what they had experienced and seen, or whether they had seen anything, at all. They seemed safe, and alive. In a way, it was a relief, even though Shuuichi still was far from feeling it.

"We found them in a time loop," Luca, who had left Mikan at Hotaru's bed and had followed Shuuichi, explained. "It seems they are alright, they even aged. But they won't wake up. We hoped that, in a more familiar environment…" His voice dropped, resignation clear in it. "Well, Hotaru didn't respond to Mikan. But maybe Imai-sempai…" He stopped, his blue eyes lingering on Shuuichi full of careful hope. "Maybe, if you talk to him-"

Shuuichi's heart sank. It not even Mikan had been able to wake Hotaru, then how was he supposed to be able to wake Subaru? Granted, they had been close. While he liked to think they had been friends, though, he couldn't speak for Subaru. They had spent years together, the two of them against the rest of the world – had it been enough to forge a bond? Enough to have Subaru react to his presence, or his words? They had been too alike, therefore they had constantly fought. Then they had been given a common goal, they had shared their pain and had grown closer. Was it real friendship, or just a necessity of fate, that had held them together? They had been an unlikely pairing right from the beginning. Thinking back, he had no idea how it had been possible that it had worked out.

Still, he had to try. Everyone's eyes lingering on him with varying degrees of hope to hopelessness, Shuuichi felt acutely conscious of himself. He braced himself on the hospital bed and leaned down, willed the man in front of him to open his eyes. "Subaru."

No reaction, just the soft rising and falling of his chest. Shuuichi felt despair creep up into his throat. He swallowed.

"Subaru, wake up."

Nothing.

"Idiot, it's time to get up, we're going to be late!"

From the corner of his eyes he could see Mikan, who had left Hotaru's side, watching him as well, hope shining from her familiar brown eyes like a light house's beacon. Shuuichi felt his spirits fall in the face of her unwavering hope and trust and stepped back, his hands curling into fists.

"He never listens to me."

_Traitor. Traitor. We promised, remember? How can you do this to me?_

Luca reached out, ever the one to seek and give physical comfort, and touched his arm. "Do you think there's something wrong with them? The doctors said physically, they're fine." His voice was resolute. He was refusing to give up hope. It was commendable, really, but contrary to Shuuichi the kid hadn't been holding on to his hope for more than two decades already and was tired of it.

Shuuichi shrugged. "It could be anything. I don't know."

"Well, the specialist for Healing probably is Imai-kun himself," Noda-sensei said. "Sakurano-kun, do you think-"

Did he think what, exactly? He'd never used his Alice on unconscious people before. Besides, copying an Alice didn't just work like that and he had never liked the name. Mostly, it was Shuuichi's Alice boasted the willpower of the certain person, thus enabling him to overcome his own limitations. To some, it might seem as if he was copying the person's Alice and thus was able to amplify its power, but it wasn't, not really. _Useless Alices_, he thought tiredly, so useless. He could sense that something was coming but never knew what. He could strengthen other people's Alices, but he couldn't strengthen his own hope. And besides, if he tried to increase Subaru's willpower while Subaru himself wasn't even conscious… He had no idea whether it would make a difference.

"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "Usually, it only works-"

Mikan interrupted him. "You only know something does not work when you have tried it," she admonished him. And something strange happened: for a second, he could hear Yukihira-sensei speaking with her voice, and see Yuka-sempai in the way she placed her fists onto her hips.

Trying to banish his dark thoughts, Shuuichi smiled. "You are right."

"Wait," Tsubasa said, suddenly nervous. "What happens if we wake them up – will everything be fine with them?"

But Shuuichi had already reached out for Subaru and touched his shoulder.

He had used his own Alice to boast Subaru's Healing Alice before. In those last days of the reign of the Elementary School Principal it had felt like they had done nothing else but try to save people who were close to dying – or dying: Yuka-sempai, Nobara-chan, Persona, Natsume. But Shuuichi had never given any thought to the actual healing process, since Subaru had always been there to take the lead. He had no idea what he was looking for, or what he was supposed to do. For a second, nothing happened, and he tried to prepare himself: what would he tell the others? Mikan's eyes flashed in front of his face. _I promise._ But there were no words to soothe her pain. Shuuichi knew exactly how Mikan would feel, since he would lose someone precious, as well.

_Idiot, bastard, idiot. You promised, remember? Don't leave like this. You've done enough. Come back._

No answer.

_Subaru. _

Shuuichi willed all his power into his friend, everything he could spare, everything he had. Twelve years' worth of memories, six years of searching and waiting. Yukihira-sensei, Yuka-sempai, Mikan. The Pond in winter, the secret room under the stairs of the Middle School Dorm building, the Student Council Common Room, the coolness of the stone walls on a summer afternoon. A series of failed tests. It had been his cry for friendship, had Subaru ever understood? Shuuichi had thought they had been friends, but maybe he had been mistaken. Maybe-

Nothing.

He was just about to pull back his hand, utterly defeated, when he felt it_. _It started as a small, almost invisible trickle of _something. _Perhaps words, maybe images and sounds and colors and noises. As if he were a spectator in a show, Shuuichi watched what Subaru felt when he used his Alice on someone. There was the warm glow that was Subaru, like a breathing, living fire. His edges were sharp and rugged and Shuuichi wondered, for a second, whether it would hurt him when he touched it, but no pain came. There was no sign of an illness, or something else, on him whatsoever. No wrongness to the feel of Subaru, no black shadow, no painful feeling radiating off him.

But no signs of waking up, either.

Opening his eyes, Shuuichi ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. "I can feel him, but nothing else."

_Useless. Three Alices and still unable to save anyone, least of all your own best friend. Stronger than the average Alice, but still completely useless. _

The silence in the room seemed to grow and grow until Shuuichi got the feeling he was suffocating. He wanted to leave, right now. He turned on his heel. "I'm sorry," he said over his shoulder, not looking at anyone. "I can't do anything to wake them up."

He'd only gotten two steps far when suddenly, a collective gasp swept through the room. At the same time, something tugged at his sleeve.

Shuuichi froze.

"Idiot," a hoarse voice whispered. "You're not supposed to _do_ something. You have to convince the person to _do it himself_."

Suddenly, the bed was surrounded by gasping, smiling, talking people. Subaru closed his eyes again, as if annoyed. "What are they doing here. And what's with that stupid ponytail you're wearing."

"They were worried about you," Shuuichi said and felt a sudden lightness in his chest that hadn't been there since Yukihira-sensei's death. Suddenly, the white hospital room did not look sterile and cold but inviting, a place of recovery rather than of death and injury. This, he supposed, was what real and complete happiness felt like. He probably was grinning like a fool. "Be polite, idiot. We've been looking for you for years, and you've just done what? Hung around in a time loop and enjoyed the view?"

"Hmpf." Subaru didn't deign to answer that. If he found something strange in their behavior, he didn't let anything show. "Seems like you've not been able to keep things running while I was gone."

Shuuichi smiled, wide. "Seems like you have not changed."

Another snort, followed by a quick hustle as some of the watchers left the room to grant them more privacy. Suddenly locating the hospital bed next to his and remembering the situation, Subaru tried to sit up and almost collapsed back into the pillows."Hotaru-"

"As soon as the doctors have made sure of your condition you can wake her up, too."

Subaru didn't answer, but Shuuichi knew him well enough to read his mind without using his intuition. He sighed and made a gesture at Luca, who had already unfastened the brakes of Hotaru's hospital bed.

"Stubborn idiot."

Subaru glared at him. "Draw yourself a forest and get lost in it."

"My, aren't we poetic today!"

But he put his hand on Subaru's shoulder, barely feeling his own exhaustion. It mingled with Subaru's and turned into something else, warm and familiar. Soon enough Hotaru was stirring feebly, her dark eyelashes fluttering. Mikan was there the next second, weeping and embracing her best friend. Hotaru looked like she had no idea what was going on and then locked gazes with her brother over the room full of exited, chattering people. Subaru gave her a smile.

A _smile_.

Shuuichi saw it, bright and clear. He couldn't help himself: he laughed. And, for the first time in two decades, felt complete.

The thought only hit him later, after he had watched the kids during dinner (usually, the combination of Ruichi-kun and fried potatoes gave him head-aches, but, as if they sensed that something good had happened, the kids behaved well that evening) and prepared the classes for the next day. Brushing his teeth in front of the mirror, Shuuichi absent-mindedly stared past his reflection. He had the exams prepared. So then, there was the issue of what he wanted to give his kids as a reward in the wake of the test week. He didn't want to spoil them, but they had worked hard. How easy it had become a part of his life: thinking of the children under his tutelage, caring for them, protecting them. He wouldn't have thought he would come to love it that much. Subaru would probably laugh at him-

_Subaru_.

What was Subaru going to do now? He was back again, he was safe and sound, and he was free of the shackles the Elementary School Principal had imposed on him. He could go wherever he wanted to go. Hotaru wouldn't have any trouble finding a job, even with her premise of making tons of money. Or perhaps she would prefer to finish the Academy together with Mikan, who was in her first specialist year. Subaru would skip those last two grades easily, as had Shuuichi. He had no obligations to the Academy, there was nothing left to blackmail him anymore, and nobody left who would have wanted to do it, much less been able to actually do it. Subaru was, by all means, allowed to leave.

Subaru was free.

The thought was like a bucket of cold water down Shuuichi's spine. Forcefully, he tamped down even the smallest hint at intuition he could get a hold on, reigned in his Alice and locked it away. He didn't want to know. He didn't.

He had to force himself to go visit the Imai siblings at the hospital. He avoided Subaru for almost an entire week, after which he found no further arguments to stay away. When he entered the rooms, however, he was told that Hotaru and Subaru had already left, something that had less to do with their fast recuperation and more with their absolutely impolite character as soon as they wanted something. The nurse that told Shuuichi of the transpired events almost wept with relief. _Seven days, Subaru,_ he thought almost amused. _Not bad. _So where had he gone? Their old dorm rooms had been re-fitted for other students, and Subaru had not yet been given another place to stay. Guest rooms were always available but judging from the way he had left the healing ward nobody who would have been able to inform him and could have set up a room for him had learned of his escape. Shuuichi, though, knew exactly where to look for him. It was easy, in an unsettling, disconcerting way.

The Pond still was quiet and peaceful, the ducks – surely not the same, although they looked identical – floating along the green waters leisurely. It seemed to have shrunk, though. In the past, the grey waters had seemed so endless. Today he could see the green of the Northern Forest at the other side of the lake. Subaru was watching the birds with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"How nice of you to come see me," he greeted Shuuichi, bitingly ironic as usual.

Shuuichi, guilt-tripping and, at the same time, too terrified to linger on that very topic, chose to ignore the jab. "So," he asked casually and leaned against a tree, "What are you going to do now?"

It was equally stupid to start that conversation now, he realized the exact second and bit his lower lip. But they could as well just get on with it. The faster, the easier it would be. At least, that was what he hoped.

Subaru didn't react surprised, just cast him a level stare. "Is there something I am supposed to do?"

"Oh, I don't know." Shuuichi shrugged and ignored the pang of anger that crept up on him. "You could go, see the world. Travel to Europe. Meet your family." His tone became acidic without his own volition, and he hated himself for it. "Do everything you never were able to do."

"Perhaps I will start with seeing my family." Subaru's voice was wistful. "Maybe Hotaru wants to come, too."

Subaru would be leaving the Academy: Shuuichi's intuition, finally overwhelming him like a tidal wave and impossible to ignore, was very clear on that aspect. It was only natural. Spending their entire youth in the enclosed world that was Alice Academy – what child did not dream of the world outside? Well, except for Shuuichi, apparently. Even Shizune, who had also become a teacher, had spent a year outside the Academy.

"And then?"

"Then?" Subaru seemed genuinely surprised. "Isn't it obvious?"

Shuuichi gritted his teeth. "Is it?"

He was rewarded a scathing look, one that reminded him of the Subaru he had known in the past.

"What are you trying to say?" Subaru questioned, a brow rising all the way up into his hairline. "You became a teacher, didn't you?"

"Yes," Shuuichi shot back. "But I've always wanted to be one. I don't expect you to…" He lost his train of thought momentarily, because what he wanted to express wasn't easily expressed. Not with him and Subaru, not ever. "The hell, why am I even trying? We never shared the same opinion, so go ahead, leave the Academy, find a job! Be happy, get a life!"

"Why should I?" Subaru sounded slightly amused. "Of course, I'll go to see my family, but what should stop me from coming back? We made a promise, after all. I do not intend to break it. And someone has to stop you from spoiling the kids rotten, anyway."

For a heartbeat, Shuuichi didn't know what to say or how to react. Subaru eyed him over the rims of his glasses, a frown clear on his face. Familiar, so familiar. He huffed, still not sure if what his friend had said actually meant what he thought it meant.

"What, you suddenly want to be a teacher, too? And prevent me from spoiling them, how? By scaring the hell out of them? You know, I think Jinjin would look like an adorable kitty compared to you."

"Watch it," Subaru ordered, frowning. "I never said I didn't want to be a teacher, did I? Don't decide things like that for yourself. And, really? Scaring the kids?" He sounded cool, but the ghost of a smile twitched at the edges of his lips. And maybe he had picked up some of Shuuichi's panic, because he added: "What, did you think I had forgotten? I'm not stupid, you know. Not like you."

"You're an idiot," Shuuichi said, his tone belying his words. The raging fear that had cursed inside him for the past seven days had calmed, quite suddenly. He hadn't realized how scared he had been, how the thought of having to watch Subaru leave again had gnawed at his insides. It wasn't fair, he knew. Subaru had his own life, his own dreams. It was just that Shuuichi only ever had had one best friend, and it had been Subaru.

_God, how I missed you._

Subaru huffed and turned away from the little duck pond. Shuuichi fell into step next to him, still not daring to believe what he thought his friend had said. Wordless, they wandered back the little path, the rustling of the wind in the trees and the sounds of the fall evening the only audible sounds. And, shortly before they reached the path towards the Elementary School Division, Shuuichi felt it. It was a tiny stab, a grating sound of something that carried weight, and then a soft rustling. Like a rusty old lock clicking back into place correctly, or like the sounds of two gears that had previously run into different direction and then grated to a halt come back to life again. There were subtle, almost imperceptible contractions as his world broke apart and rearranged itself into an alien and yet faintly familiar shape, vaster and more colorful than it had ever been before.

"You'll really come back?"

"Certainly. Not because of you, of course, but I'll come back."

Puzzle pieces: an easy, effortless circle and a twisted, ragged, shapeless square. And, amazingly, they fit. He never would have believed it had he not spend twelve years at Subaru's side before.

Shuuichi smiled. His friend caught his silent grin and frowned, but there was no disapproval in his face, only something that only someone who knew him well would have recognized as fondness.

There was no need to square a circle or to fit puzzle pieces that did not fit with them. Never had been necessary, never would be. Neither Subaru nor Shuuichi were perfect. In fact, both of them were utterly imperfect, just humans on their way through life, making each and every mistake possible and learning how to make it better. And, thinking of it, on his journey through life Shuuichi wouldn't have wanted anyone beside him except for Subaru. In a way, they made their own geometry.

… Of course, Imai Subaru had always known that.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Misc. Information_

_Sakurano Shuuichi's three Alices are, according to different sources: teleportation, telepathy (intuition) and copy (willpower). I've only read the scanlations and it seems to be no general consensus. Some say copying based on the fact that he managed to break Mikan's fall at the Sports day competition by touching (and possibly copying) the student's alice who was being controlled by Luna, and later helps Imai when he is healing Nobara. Maybe, though, his touch gave the student (and Imai) the willpower to stabilize his alice, since Natsume seems much more powerful when he uses the willpower alice in combination with his fire alice. Same with the telepathy/intuition: Sakurano clearly is able to read/sense the peoples' minds, which could hint at both. During Mikan's memory lessons before leaving the Academy, though, he is asked what his intuition says regarding Natsume's and Hotaru's return – which is something he could hardly "read" from anyone's mind. I am therefore inclined to go with willpower and intuition alice.)_

_Glimpses of the past are taken from: Chapter 58 – Extra: The Thorny Garden, Chapter 92 – The Stealing Alice Revealed, Chapter 112 – Won't give up, Chapter 132 (The Promise), _


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